poo

There has been an earthquake in the sea between China and Taiwan which has severed major telecommunications lines to the mainland. I have an assignment due on the 5th which relies on online databases and newspapers for source information. I can barely access any foreign internet sites and it could be like this for weeks. Can anyone spell 'extension' ?!

For some reason blogger is still plodding away...

I met a Chinese guy at a speaking assessment I was helping mark for a friend here last night who's english name is 'PC Fan'. Apparently he likes computers...

Today I almost went crazy at the supermarket checkout

Today I almost went crazy at the supermarket checkout. The comsumption driven drive of thousands of Chinese flocking to buy had weakened my sanity, and beeping, mini-laser beam sounds of scanned goods almost threw me over the edge. Well, not really, but I had a moment of serious passive aggression which culminated in me sticking my tongue out at a young dude who was walking past the other way. Why do you ask? Because the cunt stuck his tongue out at me first when he released I was staring back at him.

And now someone is drilling into a wall below me and this mass-housing apartment block makes it sound like he is drilling directly into my eyes. Trey is shouting at the air to make it stop. Cars are beeping. I just got another fucking text message weather report which I never wanted and don't know how to get rid of. The fucking mobile company sends you sms spam here. Fuck.

Feeling better after that,

WV

P Fucking S. As I was about to post this entry the power went out in my entire block. We studied for today's listening class by candlelight. There was a traffic jam outside my house this morning and people just started beeping. Everyone started beeping. It was like monkeys banging an abandoned ant hill.

DURKL what?!

I have a bone to chew about mainstream trends in contemporary 'cutting edge' young fashion. It doesn't mean anything. It is the antipathy of meaning. This would be ok, if it was anything new. But Warhol was doing it half a century ago. Its like these companies are striving for originality in unoriginality. I will sound cynical but I blame ultra-capitalism. Style can be bought, from the same company. A first hand price for a purposely manufactured second hand piece of clothing. The following is the 'about me' bio from a clothing company I stumbled across on the net today called DURKL.

The company ethos outlined in the following paragraphs sums up the absolute self mutilating masturbation of thought, creativity and culture these companies represent. If it sounds like your kind of deal, then sadly, I'll see you at the beach with your atkins diet breath, aviator sunnies and latest coloured plastic sandles. I'll be wearing my high school PE shorts and my dad's old sunnies. And you better not fucking judge me.

"The road:

Like most brilliant companies, DURKL was dreamt up over a few sixers of Zima and a pack of Kool's. Finding a word that rhymes with Steve Urkel was tough. We did it though. We simply smashed the word "dogonit" with "urkel" to form DURKL. Its obvious right? We all got sick of saying "dogonit Urkel," so we simplified. Pretty hardcore I know, but hey, we grew up on the wrong side of the traXXX.

After sobering up from all them Z bombs, the DURKL style and mentality coalesced. Clothing, and more, that would be ultra-sweet, even to 'droids. If androids dig your threads, then you know you are doing something right. Cyborgs are a totally different story though. Don't mix the two up, please. 'Droids drink Sunny D and have no sideburns, whereas 'Borgs prefer Capri-Suns and wear black leather fanny packs.

In early 2004, DURKL set out to design and print shirts that combined whit with past/future absurdities. As a result, the DURKL lifestyle infected and is still infecting people in the know throughout the world. DURKL delivers you a dose of hard reality with a side of the sleazy. Our threads can be found all over the US, Australia, Italy, Sweden, Turkey, England, and North Korea.

DURKL bought white tigers in early 2005.

The man behind DURKL is a trilingual breakdance, kung-fu, and bird calling legend from Washington D.C, a nationally known fresh juice aficionado, a local designer, and a duel Guinness Book of World Records holder. He held and still holds the Guinness Book record for the most expensive orthodontist bill as well as the record for spiking the most Middle School punch bowls. He has stolen a hell of a lot of lunch money and roller bladed a hell of a lot of miles. He claims to have had a hand in changing yoohoo from being an attention-grabbing-word into a chocolaty beverage. His weapon of choice is lazer beams, and his favorite human being is J-C.V.D."

Why China is amazing

This afternoon, I'de just stepped out of the newsagent having purchased some stationary. The hope is that a few nice pencils and a writing pad will make my research assignment more bearable.

Squating on the buisy pavement, on his or her little ownsome, was a child of 'nappy wearing age' adjusting with one hand a small plastic bag (the kind you get when buying small groceries) around his/her bottom area, calmly involved in the process of releaving oneself. In the other hand was a furry, fluoroescent pink cuddly toy, which, after the plastic bag was properly positioned, once again become the child's centre of attention.

The concept of the decadence of the West really comes to mind here.

Go the toddlers of China...

A foreign English teacher here in Kunming informed us of the first thing she heard from her school's Chinese head of English teaching with regard to his own English proficiency, "my grammar is much perfect".

oh yeah, people still dying in Iraq, go war

A different world view

A different world view (click for audio) from what you hear on the news. Click here for transcript.

Half of the people can be part right all of the time,
Some of the people can be all right part of the time.
But all the people can't be all right all the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
"I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours,"
I said that.

- The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan, Talkin' World War III Blues


(thanks James for this one)