My sister said that it is illegal to sell round fishbowls in France because it makes fish go insane. My fish is in a roud fishbowl and me thinking whether it is going insane, whether what my sister said is true, whether it is depressed, is making me go insane. But only a little.

I have become a disgruntled person. I react to cars beeping outside my window by shouting at the air. I sit here and rearrange my balls, stretch my testicle sack and think about how my butt is getting sore sitting on this seat. Now I wonder what being sexually frustrated actually translates to. The weather is cooling and my feet are cold.

I had chronic diaoreaha for like most of a day on saturday. Diaorreaha, apart from being imposssible to spell, becomes part of normal operations here. A friend of mine keeps getting the runs from this street food savory pancake lady outside uni but he just keeps going back. Thats just the way it is.

Have you ever looked at a solid poo you've just produced and felt really proud of it? Like you've really achieved something? I have, and do. That's what living here does to you. This morning I plopped out a well-formed cylindrical, digested poo and I stood up, turned around and marveled at it. It made me smile. It made my day better. It was like waking up on the right side of the bed.

I have 8 email accounts now. Three with gmail, 2 with hotmail 1 with yahoo and one with my uni. One day I aim to consoidate them all into one spectacular conglomerate of accounts but right now I just can't commit to a single provider. I also worry whether people will try to contact me on old addresses.

Oh yeah, with the diahorrea thing, I hade a train of thought thing going there. Sometimes when I'm sick I think about dying. I'm like, what if I die from this illness? What a shit way to go. And then a little bit later I always end up telling myself, oh well, not much you can do about it, sit it out you little sicko. And then being ill becomes a bit more enjoyable again. I've always thought that when I've gotten sick. Ever since I was really young. Do other people get that?

Has anyone who previously thought they were incapable of producing music learnt an instrument or learnt to sing as an adult? I want to know.

Good movies I've watched recently: Thankyou for smoking, The Departed

things i hate about sanya, and in a broader context, china

- I am a walking, white, male, human size 100 renminbi note, thus, I am treated like a walking, white, male, human size 100 renminbi note.
- taxis drive on the pavement beeping at me.
- Noodles are shittier and three times more expensive than they are in kunming.
- Holidaying Russians can't dress or operate a good nightclub. Thus the nightlife is reduced to badly dressed Russians in bad, overpriced nightclubs.
- Everything has a price on it.
- Re the last point, the showers at the beach are 10 kuai
- People drive petrol sand buggies up and down the beach.
- The Chinese can't swim.
- It's takes a long time for street food to get from the wok to my table. As in a long time, like more than 5mins.
- the mosquitos hide on the floor. ON THE FUCKING FLOOR. Big white walls and they hide on the floor.
- It's dirty.
- There is disgusting, kitch, beach highrise hotels jutting into the sky like big fat, dry white shits with absolutely no urban planning whatsoever. Except the architectural shape of the buildings is worse than if they actually resembled the physical structures of foeces.
- There are private beaches
- You must pay for deck chairs on the beach
- I cant take anything valuable down to the beach beacuse it will probably get stolen
- just Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,

WV

The Laowai Chant

This is a little song we been working on. Especially satifying singing it to our chinese flatmates. Muahahahaha,,,

中文：

老外，老外，老外,
我现在找女朋友。

老外，老外，老外,
比中国人厉害。

老外，老外，老外,
中国女生都爱。

老外，老外，老外,
每天喝酒很快。


[chorus]

awhhhhhh!

Hello, DVD. Hello, DVD!

pingpongpingpongpiiiing!!!

Pronunciation:

laowai laowai laowai
wo xianzai zhao nupengyou

laowai laowai laowai,
bi zhongguoren lihai

laowai laowai laowai,
zhongguo nusheng dou ai,

laowai laowai laowai,
meitian he jiu hen kuai!

[chorus]

awhhhhhh!

Hello, DVD. Hello, DVD!

pingpongpingpongpiiiing!!!


English translation:

Foreigner, foreigner, foreigner,
I'm looking for a girlfriend.

Foreigner, foreigner, foreigner,
I'm stronger than Chinese.

Foreigner, foreigner, foreigner,
All young Chinese women love me.

Foreigner, foreigner, foreigner,
I drink beer very fast every day.

[chorus]

awhhhhhh!

Hello, DVD. Hello, DVD!

pingpongpingpongpiiiing!!!